30 ways an Arab could die ... that have nothing to do with biology

Avoid these situations at all costs ... if you care to live.

Many people die of natural causes, but in the Arab world, the scenarios might differ just slightly. 

In an Arab household, taking into consideration its many rules and norms, one might come close to death at any minor inconvenience or encounter. 

Here are 30 situations you're advised to avoid if you care to live:

2. On talking back to mama 

I wonder how fast my mother would kill me if I talked to her the way the Kardashians talk to kris #arabproblems 

3. On strong reflexes

#1000ArabWaysToDie if you catch the shahotah when your mum throws it at you

 

4. On avoidable annoyances

 

Standing in the kitchen as ur mom is cooking... #1000ArabWaysToDie

5. On forgetting to choose your words wisely

#1000ArabWaysToDie Saying "Shu" instead of "Na3am" when your mom calls you

6. On expectations

 

Me: I took 99.9 Mama: why didn't you get a 100? #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

7. On legal weapons in an Arab household

#1000ArabWaysToDie the flying شبشب or كعب

 

8. On tricky situations

 

Mum: *scolding me*, yalla answer me.
Me: Okay mama I wa..
Mum: HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO ME.#1000ArabWaysToDie

 

9. On refusing to be a clean-freak

#1000ArabWaysToDie Say "I don't feel like cleaning"

10. On instant deaths

: #1000ArabWaysToDie Say "5alas" to your parents #instantdeath #slipperslinger

 

11. On visiting guests

#1000ArabWaysToDie Refuse the food at a guest's house

12. On etiquete

#1000ArabWaysToDie eating rice with a fork.

 

13. On messing with your jido's favorite activity

changing the channel when your jedo is watching the news #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

14. On teta's most despised phrase

'Teta I'm full.' #1000ArabWaysToDie

calls from your parents

#1000ArabWaysToDie miss a call from your parents 

 

 

16. On cuss words

 

 

 When your mom tells you yil3an ele 5alafak don't reply with " inti 5alafteeni" 

 

17. On "independence" being a theory

Leave the house without saying where you're going #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

18. On choosing the unmarried life not getting married and I'm never having kids #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

19. On dissing legends

#1000ArabWaysToDie Tell your Dad that Oum Kalthoum is shit.

 

20. On table manners in front of guests

#1000ArabWaysToDie shrab zoum el tabouleh eddem el 3alam 

 

21. On doing things that may result in "saf2et hawa"

Walk outside wearing socks and your hair wet #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

22. On not getting up to "salem" when people walk into your house

#1000ArabWaysToDie Stay sitting on the couch as the guests walk into your house.

 

23. On "3azeema" rulesNot

 

staying for coffee/sweets after a 3azeeme #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

24. On fighting for independence

Telling your parents that you are in a free country and you have rights #1000ArabWaysToDie"

 

25. On silent stares in public

Doing something stupid in front of your guests and your mom gives you that smile from across the room #1000ArabWaysToDie

26. On baba's soft spot when it comes to the remote control

Dad: where is the remote control? Me: I don't know, I don't carry it around in my pocket Dad: ta3al ya kaleb #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

27. On doubting your dad's sense of direction

“Driving with my dad in the car Baba: turn rightMe: NO, the GPS says straight
Baba: ya3ni I'm stupid!!#1000ArabWaysToDie”

28. On breaking precious treasures


#1000ArabWaysToDie Breaking someone's argileh

 

29. On necessary Ramadan rituals

Missing Suhoor during Ramadan... #1000ArabWaysToDie

 

30. On "eben el kaleb"

#1000ArabWaysToDie when ur mom says "ابن الكلب" and you remind her that she insulted her husband

 

 

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